A video for enjoyment

Just a video of me shooting my dad's new pistol, a Springfield XD 9mm :)

The joys of being sick

So with all the talk of swine flu(oh wait I'm sorry H1N1, which everybody should really be calling hiney) I knew sooner or later I'd probably succumb to the flu this year.  Especially since I don't cover my mouth when I sneeze, or wash my hands, and I occasionally eat food off the floor, but that's besides the point.  As far as swine flu goes I don't think it exists and its just another big stupid scare to get people to take a vaccine thats probably going to kill you or make you get the flu anyway.  I think people are freaked out way to easily nowadays.  All people really really need to eat chocolate and just chill.  But, its not my job to worry about people and I don't worry anyway, so I guess I don't really care.

So my oldest brother started college and of course that means he's brought all kinds of nice little bugs home.  He broke his finger falling up the stairs and then he got sick and he's like the biggest prima donna.  So he sat on the couch and groaned and whined for three days until he was better then he had to tell everybody he met all of his symptoms and how bad they were and I was about ready to just put a pillow over his head......serenity now........


So anyway he got over it, I learned to be more deaf than I already am(tinnitus in one ear, hehe) so whatever.  Then last Saturday the local vet was hosting a horse show to show off the Arabians she's bred and I had a few friends that were showing their horses there so of course I really wanted to go.  So I made plans and went to bed on Friday night with just a bit of tightness in my chest.  I thought nothing of it and went to bed.  I didn't really sleep much but rather hallucinated all night long, kind of an odd experience.  So I woke up with a really high fever and could barely walk.  Oh fun....

So the whole morning I laid on the couch with a fever, barely able to move.  Mom came in and told me I can't go to the horse show(as if it wasn't obvious) but since I was still hallucinating I told her I was and somehow convinced myself that I had actually already left and was on my way there.  Yeah I was kind of pitiful.

So somehow I always manage to get the flu the same time as my brother David, who is the biggest puker ever.  I fortunately have not puked in over six or seven years, which I know that makes me sound like some kind of recovering anorexic or bolemic.  I learned a long time ago when I got braces that food gets caught in them, and if you throw up digested food gets caught in them and you have to taste it for a while.  So I've always had this no puking resolution that I've stuck to, then again I don't really eat anything to puke up when I'm sick.  I can usually go for about three days without eating when I'm sick and not feel hungry.  I mean, I'm hungry but I don't want to eat.  Which is kind of bad because I lose weight easily when I'm sick.  Last time I got the flu(which was 3 years ago) I got down to 95 pounds but I haven't lost that much weight this time.

In the spirit of being sick, I of course embrace my French heritage of not showering, and although I'm not English I've adopted not brushing my teeth which is as equally disgusting.  I'd rather take no shower though over mom waking me up at six in the morning after I just fell asleep asking if the remedy worked from the night before.  My mom is weird.

So I need to end here, I won't mention anything about the extreme agitation and short tempter that seems to come with being sick, as well as this sense of being totally unable to think of what you were just about to say.  Which is what is happening to me right now.

But before I go, I would like to say Happy Veterans Day to all those who have bravely served this great country, past, present and future.  The sacrifice you have made for my freedom is greatly appreciated.

Getting older

I might as well be an 80 year old with Alzheimers for how bad my memory is.  I have a thought and a second later its out the window.  I think I wrote an entire blog article in my head this afternoon while I was out doing chores and as soon as I sat down here I can't remember a word of what I was going to say.  I need to set up a desk and an internet connection outside, since it seems like that is the only place my mind can function properly.

So I guess I am posting this for the sake of posting.

I will say though in other writing I've finished a test on an extremely stupid play, although I still have an interpretive essay to do on the same play.  And I've written a whole chapter in my book(yay!)  now I just need to write a short story which I absolutely positively suck at doing.

I want to do Halloween but my mother seems to think that dressing up and getting free candy is the darkest offence to the Catholic church.  Which really sucks because I had the most awesome My Chemical Romance inspired costume idea.  Oh well, screw it.  Speaking of which I need some chocolate, my stash is empty.

I really don't like being mature, is it stupid to say I really wish I could be a stupid, thoughtless teenager sometimes?

Before the Lobotomy

Don't ask, I couldn't think of a title, thats what I happen to be listening to right now.

I don't know how many times I tell myself I need to blog more, but I don't know why I tell myself that.  I mean honestly, if I have something to say I'll say it, but I've realized with blogging that I'm not really a 'me-me-me' person.  I don't know, my biggest problem is not being able to organize my thoughts and put them down in type, which is frustrating.  lol, idk.

At times I feel like I've found my identity, found who I really am and who I really want to be.  And at times I feel like I don't know myself, and I'm still searching.  Life is unbearable at times when you feel the skeleton in your closet scratching at the door.

On a lighter note, I had writer's block the other night so I decided to go back and rewrite this scene in my book because one of my friends suggested the Ian needed to bring a ladder to get Sybil off the roof(she jumps off and breaks her ankle in the real scene) so here is what happened. And I discovered that I really really suck at third person writing, although this is only the roughest of drafts. Enjoy =D

Chapter 6: Alternate Sneak Out Scene aka this is what comes about when I get writer’s block

Have you ever wanted to sneak out but you were stopped because of being unable to get off of that damn house roof without breaking your ankle because you’re such a clumsy retard? Then you can be at rest and sneak out with your boyfriend to go to a drinking party with the Fucking Tiny Monster Ladder!
Sybil has a fun filled night planned a head of her. Going out with a guy her aunt and uncle don’t approve of to a drinking party while being grounded is her idea of a good night but there’s one slight problem Sybil faces as she climbed out her window.
“Oh Ian! Help me! What ever am I supposed to do? I am stuck on the porch roof and cannot get down!” she says in obvious distress.
“Never fear dearest Sybil! I’ll get you to that drinking party with the Fucking Tiny Monster Ladder!” Ian replies jubilantly.
“What the fuck is that?”
“Why it’s the answer to get you off that goddamned roof, look!” he replies pulling the palm sized ladder out of his pocket.
“Its fucking tiny! How is that piece of crap supposed to get me down?”
“Watch, it easily unfolds from this fucking tiny size to this huge ass monster size!” he replies struggling to work the idiotically simple mechanism that unfolds the ladder. After a few four-letter words and a sliced thumb he succeeds in unfolding it and placed it against the house.
“Sybil, climb down and I will whisk you away from this fucking crappy place and drown your troubles with tequila!” As Sybil goes to grab a step on the ladder, it breaks off and the jagged edge of it cuts her arm.
“Wow! What sort of material is this fucking piece of shit ladder made of?”
“Why only the cheapest and worst quality Chinese metal is used to make the Fucking Little Monster Ladder. You can be assured that the quality of the ladder will barely last a single use.”
“Wow it must be one shitty ladder,” Sybil replies as she tries to stop her profuse bleeding.
“You can be assured that the Fucking Tiny Monster Ladder is the shittiest ladder in the industry. No other ladder can come close to its lack of quality.”
As Sybil mounts the ladder and begins to climb down the steps give way and she falls to the ground and breaks her arm.
“Wow!” she says jumping up. “That was much easier than jumping off the roof!”
“What is all this commotion out here?” Ron says and he and Denise come outside looking quite disheveled.
“Why Uncle Ron! I was just sneaking out with Ian to go to a drinking party!” Sybil replies enthusiastically jumping up and down while her arm hangs lifelessly.
“Yes Mr. Mestelle I was helping Sybil sneak out because you and Mrs. Mestelle are such overbearing assholes.” Ian replies putting his arm around Sybil.
“But you’re grounded Sybil Lenore, how ever did you get out without using the front door?” Denise asks.
“Why Ian was nice enough to bring his Fucking Tiny Monster Ladder so I could sneak out my window and climb down from the roof!”
“Why what in the world is the Fucking Tiny Monster Ladder?” Ron asks getting flustered.
“Why it’s the crappiest ladder in the industry, its barely strong enough to support the weight of a fly,” Ian says motioning to the ruined ladder leaning against the house.
“Wow! What a piece of shit! How much does something like that cost?” Ron asks crumpling the ladder like a tin can.
“The Fucking Tiny Monster Ladder can be yours for only 30 easy payments of $99.95!” Ian says motioning with his arm towards the ladder knocking Sybil in the face during the process.
“Wow! 30 easy payments of $99.95? That’s so unaffordable I can’t pass it up!” Ron says ecstatically.
“Yep and it’s guaranteed to never last past its first use and if it breaks then tough shit mister,” Ian replies with one of his thousand watt smiles.
“Wow! Well isn’t that the most fucked up deal ever!” Ron exclaims. “Now you kids get your asses off somewhere or I’ll call the cops!”
“Yes sir dumbass!” Ian and Sybil exclaim as they run off for their fun filled night.

Time has no essence

And I suck at making titles.

So this is my first post this summer, and summer is almost over. My life is flashing away right before my eyes and I don't even realize it. The days go by like sand through an hourglass, and at times I don't even seem to notice their passing. My life seems to routine, there is no change, no variation. Always the same, very little change. I don't know, I can hardly voice what I'm thinking anymore.

So recap of the summer for my invisible readers and those who happen to come to my blog through random search engines.

So in May Green Day finally released their 10th album and I of course bought it. It is so awesome, but I'll say that I don't think its quite as good as American Idiot, but still awesome. Its nice to hear some new music from them guys, Billie Joe is such a great lyricist, he really knows how to speak through his music. Green Day is still my all-time favorite band and I sincerely hope they never care what anybody thinks about them and keep on rockin. I did happen to get tickets to see Green Day in Chicago but at the last minute my main ride and my back-up ride had to ditch me due to some things so I didn't get to see them. Fortunately I'm a pessimist and I had a feeling from the moment I bought the tickets that something would happen and I wouldn't be able to go. So no hard feelings on anybody, but I'm stealing my parent's car to see them next spring for sure. hehehehe..........

I just realized I haven't bought any new CDs since May, I need some new music. Huh.

So since I needed a bit more variation in my life I started taking riding(well, horse training) lessons from a friend. She's learning piano from me in exchange, so its not a bad deal. Unfortunately, this has ignited a long dormant passion for horses, which is quite unquenchable. So since my parents won't allow me to have a horse, and I can't afford one, I have to wait until after college before I can consider getting a horse. I'm having fun with the groundtraining though, I'm working with Arabians which are such amazing and beautiful animals. I'm learning Parelli Natural Horsemanship which is a very awesome program, I honestly don't know why more people don't use it. Its very enlightening to learn about horse behavior and actions.

So, I went to the WI State Fair to see my 2nd best friend. Its funny that its only the second time I've met her. She's an awesome person and we had a great time. Kind of funny that the only thing at the WI SF is food and beer. I did get to see the Budwieser Clydesdales, which were very awesome. Here's a pic of Katherine and I
So anyway, went to a few other fairs, ate a bunch of junk food, etc etc, normal summer stuff I guess.

I've been turning and idea over in my head for sometime about writing a book so I've finally taken initiative and so I've started writing one. Its sort of a cheesy teenage romance novel with a couple murder twists thrown in. I don't really like it but I'm just writing it to prove to myself that I can do it. I've got much much better horror stories on the drawing board though.

And finally I want to close this on a very personal note. This summer, my BFF and sister Brenna ran away from home so that she could be with the love of her life. I don't know if you'll ever read this Brenna, but I want you to know how I feel.

I love you as a best friend and sister Brenna, you are the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. I want you to know that I'm not judging what you did, because I know you did what you thought was best for you and you did what you wanted, not what somebody else wanted. I would never judge you, because you never judged me. You were there for me when I was down, you made me laugh, you inspired me to be who I wanted to be, not what everybody else thought I should. If you don't want to be my friend anymore I completely understand and respect your decision.

Happy Mother's Day!

Ok, so my mom always bitches that I or my brother's don't do anything for her for mothers day(or she complains if we do) so I decided I'd write her a poem this year. I think its extremely corny but feel free to use it as a free gift on your mother =D

To my mother
Because you are unlike any other
Even though it sometimes seems that I hate you
You and I both know that is really not true
I know that you care about me
And see things in a way that I don't see
I know that you always care
Even when you don't seem fair
You've loved me even before I knew how to crawl
And you were there almost every time I would fall
You've taught me there is more to life than what there appears to be
And to always take care of those around me
I say this because you are my mother
A mother unlike any other


Ps, that is a really bad pic of my mom, I wish i had a better one =P

Fire

On an evening such as this
It never ceases to bring me bliss
For my eyes never seem to tire
To see the dusky sky all on fire

The sun has burned out in all her glory
Ending the day like a story
Dreamlike as the sky seems to be
Oh what a sight i love to see!

Long after the sun has went to bed
The sky is still hued with orange and red
Yet it still continues to burn with all its might
As a glorious prelude to the coming night