Here's to the New Year

Even though I don't blog enough I at least try and make a post on New Year's Eve. It does matter some.

So this is my first New Year's(and Christmas, and Thanksgiving) away from home and family. It's not like we ever do anything for the holidays though, seriously, so I guess I'm just being a pussy about all this. Ok, fine I'll admit it: I do feel homesick, I can't lie. I feel like crap as of now(bad cold and possible ear infection) so my demeanor probably isn't the most positive right now, but I'll still write this the best I can.

2010 has been a pretty interesting year for me.

I went to my first concert.(which I still need to write about, it's been almost a year!)

I got my first electric guitar, got better at the acoustic and was getting better at piano until I had to send it away to storage. I really miss my piano and I really really miss my acoustic guitar. Since I've been over here in India I've forgotten the calming and clearing effect that playing has on me.

I got my first boyfriend(and got a crash course in relationships. Fun. Not.)

My parents finally tore down our old mold and mouse ridden house and built a new house. I'm so happy for them, especially my mom. Our old house stressed her out for so many years because it wasn't big enough for us, it was pretty much always messy. Due to lack of closet and storage space(only 2 closets between 5 people) we pretty much had piles of stuff everywhere for lack of better words(we're not hoarders, I swear!) It was cold and drafty in the winter, hot and sticky in the summer when the A/C was out, and the house pretty much made it's own dust. Trust me, dusting feels very depressing and counter productive when it comes back the next day. It's also not cool to have your own personal Niagra Falls in the basement every time it rains, or to feel like the house is going to blow off the foundation every time the wind blows. I could go on all day long about that house. I left before everything was done but to hear my mom talk about the house, it's like talking to a little kid who just built the most awesome couch cushion fort. She's so happy and it makes me feel a lot better about my mom knowing that she's got one less thing to worry about. It sounds like we may be getting a new puppy soon as well(nothing concrete) so I can't imagine how my mom will act with a new fort and a new puppy.

There is of course, also this trip to India, which will probably remain the highlight of my life. I've learned so much here, but what's funny is that I think I've learned just as much about my life at home as I've learned about stuff in general here. I've learned that in the past I never valued or appreciated my parents as much as I should have, and sometimes I mistreated them, and I'm really sorry for that. I've learned that having and keeping my family in my life is very important, and that I have taken that for granted over the years(damn adolescence). I've learned(and am still learning) what the key to good health is as well(article later when I can think better, I promise!) I've also learned how much I miss and even APPRECIATE doing goat chores. That's probably one of the hugest reasons I can't think properly, I've lost that way that I clear my mind and articulate my thoughts and it SUCKS. I'm not bored* over here(seriously Mukthi, if you're reading this I've never been bored, I don't just say that) but it's just really weird for me to be sitting still all the time and not doing anything. I really miss my goats too. I never realized how sane they keep me. I miss it when I'm having a bad day, I can't just go out to the barn and be with my goats. They always make me smile, they always make me feeling better. It's like they always have just the right thing to say, and they can say it to you without even saying it. I miss my fat little Ducky, the way she always just walks up to you unexcitedly, without a wiggle of her tail, just expecting to be pet. I can't blame her though, she is almost royalty in the barn.

*A note on boredom. Boredom is usually accompanied by impatience, and boredom is pretty much impatience with yourself and everybody else because you just simply can't think of anything to do. The reason why I'm not bored(even though I'm not doing anything) is because if I can't find anything to do I'll just occupy my mind with some course of thought that will usually keep my mind occupied for a while. Conquering boredom is all about patience and not letting your mind get stagnant.

So I'm going to wrap this up with an apology to anybody who reads this blog for the sole purpose of hearing about what I'm doing on this trip. I'm sorry but any time I've tried to write about things it's literally almost impossible for me. The best way I can explain it is like this: First, I've gotten pretty used to what I see over here, and also in a way it's been a sensory overload. There is soooo much information coming into my brain that I can't really process it. Second, if I write about what I'm doing all the time I start to feel like I'm not really here anymore, like I'm looking through a camera and not through my eyes. Ever shoot a video of something really cool and feel like you're not there at the same time? It's like that. Third, as I mentioned above I've found since I'm over here that I've been able to look at things back home(not just my own life, but American society as well) and see them from a totally different perspective since I'm not there anymore. I think it's going to be the same way when I get back home from here. I'll more than likely be able to write about it then.

So to wrap this up, I am going to try and blog a little bit more while I'm over here, but I'm not going to be blogging about India. I think it's time to put these other thoughts in my head into writing before they go away. I'd make it a resolution to blog more in 2011, but I'm pretty sure that I did that for 2010, and as you can see, there's less than a dozen blogs. So, fuck resolutions in my opinion; as soon as you make a resolution you probably won't keep it anyway because you made a point to make it a resolution in the first place. If there's things you want to change in your life, bring the change about when the time is proper(like don't try losing weight in winter, you need extra fat for insulation!) Also don't set goals that you know are unachievable, it's simply just counterproductive. If you're going to set goals, set small goals and when you achieve them set a few more small goals until eventually that big goal actually is accomplished.

Ok before I start sounding like a life coach(too late)............

Happy New Year. May your year be filled with health, love and happiness. If you want have a resolution be sure to have this one and keep it:

Enjoy the little things in life. You'll never realize how important they are until they're gone.

Namaste.