Happy New Year to everybody!
Its kind of funny how time flies, I swear the year just started yesterday. Mom is going on vacation to Texas tomorrow sooooo.......I guess I get a week off from her, hehehe......
I finished reading the Twilight series, took me two weeks, wow those are awesome books. I usually don't like books like that but they are really great books. I downloaded the movie off youtube(yes illegally, lol) and the movie is just as good.
Well I am glad to leave 2008 behind, its been kind of a hard year for me, probably one of my toughest years in my short life(man I gotta stop talking like I'm old or something) but I made it through, so hey thats an accomplishment I guess. I'm extremely thankful this is the year that I discovered My Chemical Romance, I think it would have been a lot harder without them. And of course I'm thankful that I have Brenna for such a good friend, she's helped me through some of my darkest times, I'll always owe you Brenna =)
So now I have 2009 before me, and a whole bunch of things to look forward to.
Ok, now that sounds cheesy, screw it, enjoy your evening, I'm staying up to watch Fall Out Boy on Dick Clark's New Year's Eve party.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Yes I'll be nice enough to wish everybody a Merry Christmas today, even though this season tends to get me annoyed most of time, its mostly Christmas music that gets on my nerves. I turned on my radio last night wanting to listen to some music(mind you I don't keep track of the days so it might as well have been the day after Christmas to me) and U2 was singing some horrible Christmas song. I can't stand Christmas music. And I really really hate Its a Wonderful Life, I've only seen that movie once a long time ago but I don't understand why everybody likes it so much, its just so so so stupid and horribly long.
Cabin fever is getting to me, I'm playing with fire to much and starting to do stupid things(well of course only I know what I'm doing is stupid). I think I'll start writing on my walls in black sharpies, that will help, lol
Anyway, I'm starting to bitch again, so Merry Christmas everybody!
Cabin fever is getting to me, I'm playing with fire to much and starting to do stupid things(well of course only I know what I'm doing is stupid). I think I'll start writing on my walls in black sharpies, that will help, lol
Anyway, I'm starting to bitch again, so Merry Christmas everybody!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Cabin fever, Christmas and time machines of all things
Ok, I really starting to suffer from cabin fever here. I can't stand being around my family stuck in the house all day, its driving me nuts. We all got in a fight over something stupid so while they were finishing fighting I was sitting there writing music lyrics down, very calming actually. That past two days have been nothing but white-out conditions, its nice to actually see the sun for once.
Folie a Deux is awesome, lol of course it is. I got sucked into the Twilight series, its really helped me to stop thinking so hard and just to unscramble my brain. Not thinking feels sooooo nice. Its amazing, I'm enjoying advanced math, I don't think I'm normal.
So last night I can't believe this my family wasted an entire hour on a conversation about time machines. I wanted to go back in time and erm...exterminate...a few people, and everybody else had funny ideas. My brother wanted to go back and invent You Tube, and buy a bunch of P-51's for $500, and my dad wanted to go back in time and see how the farm looked in the 1930's. He really thought it would be cool if he could bring his grandparents forward to show what he's done on the farm, and the progress agriculture has made. Kind of cool. In case you were wondering, we waste a lot of time on unintellectual conversations like this, hey its better than talking about freakin' tractors all the time.
So, ending here with a Merry Christmas, I might not like the holiday but that doesn't mean I'm not going to say Merry Christmas to somebody. My favorite cousins aren't coming home because of the weather, which is too bad because I really needed to talk to them, oh well if they see this I love you guys and hope you have a Merry Christmas.
Folie a Deux is awesome, lol of course it is. I got sucked into the Twilight series, its really helped me to stop thinking so hard and just to unscramble my brain. Not thinking feels sooooo nice. Its amazing, I'm enjoying advanced math, I don't think I'm normal.
So last night I can't believe this my family wasted an entire hour on a conversation about time machines. I wanted to go back in time and erm...exterminate...a few people, and everybody else had funny ideas. My brother wanted to go back and invent You Tube, and buy a bunch of P-51's for $500, and my dad wanted to go back in time and see how the farm looked in the 1930's. He really thought it would be cool if he could bring his grandparents forward to show what he's done on the farm, and the progress agriculture has made. Kind of cool. In case you were wondering, we waste a lot of time on unintellectual conversations like this, hey its better than talking about freakin' tractors all the time.
So, ending here with a Merry Christmas, I might not like the holiday but that doesn't mean I'm not going to say Merry Christmas to somebody. My favorite cousins aren't coming home because of the weather, which is too bad because I really needed to talk to them, oh well if they see this I love you guys and hope you have a Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Tuesday
I honestly never know what to name my blogs, whatever.
So, I finished my research report end of last week. I honestly didn't like it and I thought it was horrible, I just wasn't that into writing it. Teacher didn't think so and I got a 100 on it!! yay!! I'll post it later this week.
I also finished Anna Karenina last week, I kind of thought it was kind of a stupid book. First off, it was really hard to stay into it and it was pretty predictable(except for the end, which I won't give away)
So even though I haven't played piano regularly for six years I'm still pretty good at classical stuff, I'm absolutely horrible at Christmas music, maybe that stems from the fact that I hate Christmas music. I'll probably mess up really bad when I'm playing for the 4-H kids, it'll be pretty funny though I'm sure =) Hey, gotta laugh at yourself sometimes.
Still 8 degrees here, damn its cold, supposed to snow this afternoon, I hope it does.
So, I finished my research report end of last week. I honestly didn't like it and I thought it was horrible, I just wasn't that into writing it. Teacher didn't think so and I got a 100 on it!! yay!! I'll post it later this week.
I also finished Anna Karenina last week, I kind of thought it was kind of a stupid book. First off, it was really hard to stay into it and it was pretty predictable(except for the end, which I won't give away)
So even though I haven't played piano regularly for six years I'm still pretty good at classical stuff, I'm absolutely horrible at Christmas music, maybe that stems from the fact that I hate Christmas music. I'll probably mess up really bad when I'm playing for the 4-H kids, it'll be pretty funny though I'm sure =) Hey, gotta laugh at yourself sometimes.
Still 8 degrees here, damn its cold, supposed to snow this afternoon, I hope it does.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Life: The Beautiful Lie
For those of you wondering the exact meaning of “Life is a Beautiful Lie” here is my best explanation of what I think it means.
First off it doesn’t mean that life as itself does not exist, that would be saying there is not a God. Yes there is a God and yes I do believe in God and I do believe that life in itself is full of meaning and purpose, what that purpose is we all must find out for ourselves.
In life, or I should say when we are out in the presence of others, most of us will put on an air of carefreeness, a mask of composure. One may act as if nothing is wrong in their life, like they lead the perfect life. This perfect life is the perfect lie. Underneath the mask, underneath it all lies some trouble, a venomous opinion and loathing of the people around you, as if you are jealous because all of those around you are leading perfectly happy lives(of course you cannot see through their masks like they cannot see through your own) Sitting there drowning in your own pool of depression and despair you wonder how many people see right through you or if they are thinking the same things you are. Some even have skeletons in their closets, knocking, knocking….one may wonder how many hear that knocking or one may wonder if somebody suspects that skeleton is even in the closet.
Maybe not everybody goes through what I described above, but everybody experiences the lie to a certain degree. The seemingly saintly people viciously gossip about their neighbors, a loved one will smile to your face and stab you when you turn your back, an apparently honest person will tell an outright lie.
The lie can be when a person is depressed, in a hopeless situation, in complete misery, on the inside that is. Yet on the outside the person acts as if there is nothing wrong, they act as if they are perfectly happy and normal.
The outside is beautiful, yet the beautiful part is just covering up the dreadfulness that hides deep inside us all.
Then again, maybe this lie does have a purpose. I mean, if we were all to take away the masks, show everybody who we really are, would we be accepted? Would we be seen as just another troubled screwed up person who should be going to therapy? Or will they rebuke you on the outside yet admire you on the inside for throwing your mask aside? Or will they embrace you and try to understand you? On the other hand I guess we must all do what our mothers told us a children and keep up appearances.
So you probably wonder, what is my lie? What is hiding behind my mask? I’ll never tell, you should have gotten enough of a hint already. Nobody fully understands me and nobody ever will.
Go ahead, say your life is free of this lie. Take a closer look, you are a beautiful lie just as much as I am. Your life is just as beautiful a lie as everybody else in this world.
First off it doesn’t mean that life as itself does not exist, that would be saying there is not a God. Yes there is a God and yes I do believe in God and I do believe that life in itself is full of meaning and purpose, what that purpose is we all must find out for ourselves.
In life, or I should say when we are out in the presence of others, most of us will put on an air of carefreeness, a mask of composure. One may act as if nothing is wrong in their life, like they lead the perfect life. This perfect life is the perfect lie. Underneath the mask, underneath it all lies some trouble, a venomous opinion and loathing of the people around you, as if you are jealous because all of those around you are leading perfectly happy lives(of course you cannot see through their masks like they cannot see through your own) Sitting there drowning in your own pool of depression and despair you wonder how many people see right through you or if they are thinking the same things you are. Some even have skeletons in their closets, knocking, knocking….one may wonder how many hear that knocking or one may wonder if somebody suspects that skeleton is even in the closet.
Maybe not everybody goes through what I described above, but everybody experiences the lie to a certain degree. The seemingly saintly people viciously gossip about their neighbors, a loved one will smile to your face and stab you when you turn your back, an apparently honest person will tell an outright lie.
The lie can be when a person is depressed, in a hopeless situation, in complete misery, on the inside that is. Yet on the outside the person acts as if there is nothing wrong, they act as if they are perfectly happy and normal.
The outside is beautiful, yet the beautiful part is just covering up the dreadfulness that hides deep inside us all.
Then again, maybe this lie does have a purpose. I mean, if we were all to take away the masks, show everybody who we really are, would we be accepted? Would we be seen as just another troubled screwed up person who should be going to therapy? Or will they rebuke you on the outside yet admire you on the inside for throwing your mask aside? Or will they embrace you and try to understand you? On the other hand I guess we must all do what our mothers told us a children and keep up appearances.
So you probably wonder, what is my lie? What is hiding behind my mask? I’ll never tell, you should have gotten enough of a hint already. Nobody fully understands me and nobody ever will.
Go ahead, say your life is free of this lie. Take a closer look, you are a beautiful lie just as much as I am. Your life is just as beautiful a lie as everybody else in this world.
Christmas and cold
Ok, so today I'll put up two posts, I've finished my 'essay' on a beautiful lie, and I'll post that in a sec if the internet lets me(its super slow)
So, its like 4 degrees outside with 10 below windchill, still waiting for global warming. Its very lovely to walk outside in five inch layers only to freeze to the bone in a matter of minutes. Oh forgot about the 30mph winds, thats always fun. We had a goat house(don't worry it wasn't occupied) fly across the yard, if it wasn't for the windmill in the front yard it would have came through the house. Now that would have been funny.
I'm going to start cussing on my blog because I'm tired of moderating myself so much and I really don't care.
So its Christmas time, and the one thing I hate most about Christmas is how everybody says Happy Holidays. WTF its MERRY CHRISTMAS because its CHRISTMAS. Are we afraid of offending somebody or something? I'm wondering when the fuck they're going to put 'Holiday' on the calendar instead of Christmas.
I went to the grocery store the other day and only one person told me Merry Christmas. One person out of a dozen who gave me some sort of greeting(I refuse to say the H word) Here at home we have a little rule that every time we hear HH, we automatically say Merry Fucking Christmas to each other, kind of funny.
Yeah I know, my family is wierd.
Gotta send Christmas cards today, and practice Christmas songs on the piano since I decided to volunteer to play piano when the 4-H'ers go caroling. Eh, I'll be nice I guess.
Sorry for the ranting and the cussing, it just irks me.
And remember, Merry CHRISTMAS, I said Christmas, not the H word.
Oh, Fall Out Boy Folie a Deux comes out tomorrow don't forget. I preordered so I get it today, yay!!!!!!
So, its like 4 degrees outside with 10 below windchill, still waiting for global warming. Its very lovely to walk outside in five inch layers only to freeze to the bone in a matter of minutes. Oh forgot about the 30mph winds, thats always fun. We had a goat house(don't worry it wasn't occupied) fly across the yard, if it wasn't for the windmill in the front yard it would have came through the house. Now that would have been funny.
I'm going to start cussing on my blog because I'm tired of moderating myself so much and I really don't care.
So its Christmas time, and the one thing I hate most about Christmas is how everybody says Happy Holidays. WTF its MERRY CHRISTMAS because its CHRISTMAS. Are we afraid of offending somebody or something? I'm wondering when the fuck they're going to put 'Holiday' on the calendar instead of Christmas.
I went to the grocery store the other day and only one person told me Merry Christmas. One person out of a dozen who gave me some sort of greeting(I refuse to say the H word) Here at home we have a little rule that every time we hear HH, we automatically say Merry Fucking Christmas to each other, kind of funny.
Yeah I know, my family is wierd.
Gotta send Christmas cards today, and practice Christmas songs on the piano since I decided to volunteer to play piano when the 4-H'ers go caroling. Eh, I'll be nice I guess.
Sorry for the ranting and the cussing, it just irks me.
And remember, Merry CHRISTMAS, I said Christmas, not the H word.
Oh, Fall Out Boy Folie a Deux comes out tomorrow don't forget. I preordered so I get it today, yay!!!!!!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Vacuuming really sucks
Ok, no matter what the manufacturer says about vacuum cleaners, they really aren't made for dog hair. I just pulled two big wads of it out of it. And I think the Shop Vac is broken, its blowing instead of sucking. Thats really nice especially when you're vacuuming and chewing gum at the same time, mmmmmmmmm........dirt flavored gum. Gotta love it.
Oh, my dad found out about my blog yesterday so now I've gotta write a post about what "Life is a Beautiful Lie" means. I'll do it later, until then read the lyrics to the song, A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars:
Oh, my dad found out about my blog yesterday so now I've gotta write a post about what "Life is a Beautiful Lie" means. I'll do it later, until then read the lyrics to the song, A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars:
Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
Cuz this is just a game
It's a beautiful lie
It's the perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me
It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game
Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game
So beautiful, beautiful...
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
Cuz this is just a game
It's a beautiful lie
It's the perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me
It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game
Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game
So beautiful, beautiful...
Friday, December 5, 2008
Ah the rush of ideas........
So I finally decided to start working on my research report today. Its funny, I am the world's biggest procrastinator, I have to put everything off till the extremely very last minute. I don't know, maybe I do best under pressure. Or maybe I have to sit there and brood over my ideas until they get nice and rotten, then only the good ones stay in my mind, while all the unrelated ones get cast aside to be commented on later. Music seems to help a lot. Don't worry, everybody gets to read it when I'm done.
I honestly don't know why I worry so much about stuff like this, I mean I always end up getting a good grade on it. My biggest problem is the fact that I can't put any personal opinion in this report, well if that were the case I'd have ten pages by now.
Dang, I had all these things I was going to write about and they all went out the window.......
Oh yeah, its cold, I think I've already mentioned that several times before though. Still wondering when the heck global warming is going to come, oh thats right its climate change because its so freaking COLD! I heard climate change causes normal weather. =)
I need chocolate, in the hot liquid form...........
I honestly don't know why I worry so much about stuff like this, I mean I always end up getting a good grade on it. My biggest problem is the fact that I can't put any personal opinion in this report, well if that were the case I'd have ten pages by now.
Dang, I had all these things I was going to write about and they all went out the window.......
Oh yeah, its cold, I think I've already mentioned that several times before though. Still wondering when the heck global warming is going to come, oh thats right its climate change because its so freaking COLD! I heard climate change causes normal weather. =)
I need chocolate, in the hot liquid form...........
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh its the holidays...........
woohoo its my most cynical time of the year........................
So I went back and read the posts I posted last week, I must have been high or something, eh I don't care.
When it comes to the holidays I always wonder, all the people out there shopping and fighting each other like animals for things their loved ones will forget in a week......are they really representing the true meaning of Christmas? Do they really even care about what Christmas really means or is it all about outdoing each other?
Black Friday: A day that to me is just another day, yet thousands of people went out and like wolves fighting for a deer carcass they fought over presents, fought with each other, heck a guy even got run over and killed by a mob of shoppers. Is this really Christmas? People spend gobs of money they don't have on presents that their kids or loved ones probably won't appreciate like they want them to, then they wonder why they are so far into debt. Is this really Christmas?
Give me a holiday season with meaning, show me that people are willing to embrace the true meaning of Christmas(and not just the Christian meaning) Christmas is about being together, and family, not fighting or spending money.
All I want for Christmas is for people to realize what Christmas really is about.
Screw it, peace out.
So I went back and read the posts I posted last week, I must have been high or something, eh I don't care.
When it comes to the holidays I always wonder, all the people out there shopping and fighting each other like animals for things their loved ones will forget in a week......are they really representing the true meaning of Christmas? Do they really even care about what Christmas really means or is it all about outdoing each other?
Black Friday: A day that to me is just another day, yet thousands of people went out and like wolves fighting for a deer carcass they fought over presents, fought with each other, heck a guy even got run over and killed by a mob of shoppers. Is this really Christmas? People spend gobs of money they don't have on presents that their kids or loved ones probably won't appreciate like they want them to, then they wonder why they are so far into debt. Is this really Christmas?
Give me a holiday season with meaning, show me that people are willing to embrace the true meaning of Christmas(and not just the Christian meaning) Christmas is about being together, and family, not fighting or spending money.
All I want for Christmas is for people to realize what Christmas really is about.
Screw it, peace out.
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